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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?